Happy Valentines Day

We never really celebrated Valentine's Day until 2 years ago. February 14th, 2010 took on a whole new meaning for us and now we celebrate it with sweet memories. So Happy Valentine's Day to all and let me explain by recapping...

February 14th, 2010 6am- I woke up early and decided just out of curiosity to take a pregnancy test. It was early and I truly expected it to be negative, but instead it was literally like the movies I blinked a few times to clear my eyes and to my shock it was positive! I called for Scott who drug himself out of bed (clearly we were not early risers) and asked if he thought it was positive too.... he said he thought so! I couldn't go back to sleep so I woke up and began to think about pink or blue, strollers, cribs and soft sweet blond hair (yes, my babies had blond hair even in my thoughts and dreams).

Just a few days before February 14th here is an excerpt from my blog:
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Home sweet....
Actual Age: 28 weeks (math error last week)
Adjusted Age: 16 weeks

Not so fast- home sweet home for Reagan!!! Yeah!!! Not Eden though.... We have had a VERY eventful, stressful week.

Reagan is tonight spending her second night at home. Yesterday's discharge and getting set up with nursing at home was crazy. Lots of people in our house and lots of adjusting to the new situation. Reagan did great- the ride home was smooth, meeting her doggie was good and getting adjusted went well. She also slept for 11 hours last night!! Only a few interruptions with a diaper change and desatting due to her nasal cannula being out of her nose. Scott and I however did not sleep great, we had Eden on our mind and keeping an ear open for Reagan. Hopefully tonight will be a little better. Having nurses here is different, but they are very helpful and willing to do whatever they need to for Reagan.

Now on to our precious little sweet pea. Eden is sick again. Her pulmonary hypertension is causing her much trouble. Last night was VERY scary because she needed 100% O2 and extra sedation throughout the evening and night. We now have three medications on board for her PH and are praying this works. She is also being sedated to help her shortness of breath episodes, we are working very closely with a Integrative Medicine and Pain/Palliative Care provider to manage her need for pain medications. The goal is to have her comfortable but not completely snowed. This will help her breathe easier and stay calmer when an episode arises. We also found out that she has tracheomalacia and bronchomalcia. This means that the walls of her trachea are floppy and she has weak cartilage in the walls of her brochial tubes. Therefore when these all collapse she has an episode where she cannot breathe even despite being at 100% O2. Our hearts just ache watching her in pain and we would do anything to take her place.

PLEASE, PLEASE pray for Eden this week that she will get better and her PH will miraculously go away. Please also pray that Scott and I will have the strength and guidance to make the right decisions for our babies.

February 14th, 2012:
As I read through the post from 2011, my heart aches because I miss Eden so terribly. The past few weeks have been rough. I have had many episodes of sadness and stress. I still feel a great deal of pain and try to deal with it so that Reagan isn't affected.... it's hard.
Reagan's Valentine's Day was filled with lots of cuddles, hugs and play- really just like everyday. But she also got some new puppy books, which she so affectionately calls "babas". She seems to love puppies, including Lilly. We took our first overnight trip this weekend to Scott's sisters house and she did great! She met their two large labs and she had no fear going up to them and petting them. They even licked her face and she wasn't scared. She is doing so great. Literally running everywhere and into everything. She loves to discover new things and is so curious. She's definitely our Valentine!!!