Scott and I have been having some anxiety and overall sadness associated with the holidays this year. We usually love Thanksgiving and even more we love Christmas, but it's incredibly painful to think that we are missing our sweet Eden for both of these special times. I "allowed" myself to enjoy Thanksgiving and I had such a great day. At 31 years of age I finally made my first turkey and it turned out great!! The rest of the food provided by our families was wonderful! I skyped with my sister and Reagan sat at the dinner table with us and even tried some sweet potatoes! All of these were highlights but even more wonderful was what we did for Eden. As you may have noticed we like to remember Eden in special ways and honor her life every holiday. Scott decorated Eden's tree with over 1,000 white, sparkling Christmas lights!! He did a beautiful job and we had a tree lighting ceremony for Eden. I talked to her and told her how thankful we were to have 8 months with her and how much we missed her everyday. We shed some tears for her and marveled in the beauty of her tree against the dark sky. Reagan loved it and stared at it the entire time.

The emotional roller coaster continued as we took Reagan to pick out a Christmas tree, wishing that Eden was there with us. We chose a lovely tree and spent Saturday night decorating, listening to Christmas music and keeping Reagan away from ornaments. Mom's and Dad's of 15 month olds- Any advice on this?? I may not be Suzie Homemaker but I think my 2 Christmas trees look pretty good.

Finally, I have a very long list of things to be thankful for this year but I will slim it down to my most important.
*My beautiful, healthy baby Reagan.
*Being able to spend 8 months with my beautiful baby Eden.
*My amazing husband who supports me during my darkest days and comforts me when the tears won't stop.
*My faith in God.
*My family.
*My well-behaved, loving dog Lilly.
*My amazing church, Eagle Brook.
*Fantastic Healthcare- specifically Children's Hospitals and Clinics of MN.
*A perfect job that I'm passionate about.
*Heat Yoga in Blaine.
*Ben & Jerry's ice cream!