A way to describe what this feels like


WE LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER EDEN!!!
It's sometimes hard to put into words what it feels like to have lost my baby. My blog posts describe my heartbreak, pain and sadness but the true emotion doesn't usually come out completely. I am reading a book that my Dad gave me by Jennifer Silvera called 'believe', she talks about the loss of her husband. The book isn't 100% relevant, but she describes grief so well that I feel like I can relate. As I've mentioned before, I'm a different person, completely changed. I am so unmotivated and empty. Jennifer describes "after a profound loss, daily tasks become new challenges, and it's difficult to complete one simple item on a to-do list". I have a hollowness that cannot be filled. On August 2nd, 2010 my Motherly heart became full- 50% with love for Eden and 50% love for Reagan. That hollowness is Eden's half. Perhaps this explains why I don't go out, don't return phone calls or texts or simply don't smile quite as much. Perhaps it doesn't explain anything. All I ask is that you're patient with me and respect that I am grieving and need the right kind of support.