10 weeks is a long time

2 months, 1 week & 5 days
Gestational Age: 38 weeks, 4 days

This week has been tough. Sunday, Oct 10th was 38 weeks which is when my MD's said I would have delivered the twins. It was bittersweet and caused me to be extra emotional, just the thought of knowing that I should still be pregnant...

Eden was requiring more O2 and this had us very worried. She had her eye exam on Monday which showed that her ROP has progressed to Stage 2. The ROP is not yet bad enough to require surgery but we were praying that her eyes would regress to maturity instead of progressing to Stage 2. Her eye exam was very tramatic for her and caused her to have 4 spells in one day. Spells are also termed A's and B's or Apneas and Bradycardias. This is when they stop breathing and their heart rates plummet. These are very common in preemies, but our girls have only had a few. In fact a maximum of 2 in one day previous to Monday. Of course Scott and I witnessed all 4 of these spells. There is nothing more terrifying as a parent than watching your child turn limp and pale and watching her heart rate and oxygen decrease dramatically. The stress, anxiety and fear are overwhelming and it causes pure exhaustion. The RN's see these spells so often that they are perfectly calm and know exactly what to do. Eden was not in danger of anything bad happening, it simply was very uncharacteristic of her to have so many and be so agitated. Her MD came and saw her for the second time in a day and ordered a lab panel, all of which came back negative. We determined the spells were likely caused from the trauma of the eye exam.

Reagan had another eye exam today and her left eye is showing very early signs of Stage 1 ROP. We learned that it can show up later, and they will monitor her with future eye exams.

One of the RN's found an inguinal hernia on Eden's right side this week also. The Urologist came and saw her today and determined that she will need surgery before she goes home. It will be done on both sides because her abdominal wall is so thin in that area that it could easily start on the other side.

Finally, we have both hit a wall with realizing that 10 weeks is a long time. We really thought being in the NICU would get easier and it has in some sense. Our little girls are no longer fighting for their lives everyday, but they are almost full term and acting like newborns and growing very well that it feels like we should be able to pick them up and carry them home. Scott and I are always the optimists, in fact we have always had a peace and calm that everything is going to be OK. However, this week has felt like we're never going to be able to bring them home- its so hard. Driving to the NICU is draining, eating at the NICU is getting old, trying to find time to cook is difficult, and simply having a life that feels so out of balance is just plain hard. Please pray for all of us this week- Scott and I need more patience (as if we don't already have enough) and our little girls need big improvments to even start talking about coming home. Thank you for all the prayers.